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Looking Forward

For the past four years I have been taking care of three children, as their nanny. Life there, overall, has been really good. I'm not a morning person, and the job starts early, but well, nothing's perfect right?

At the beginning of the year, the news was broken to the kids that this would be my final year with the family. The big question, of course, was - why? So, I had to sit and explain that since the youngest of the three children would be going to school, that it was time for me to go back to school too. The kids were a little confused because I have been taking courses by correspondence and doing homework with them around. So, I went on to explain that I would move and actually be going to the college itself. They finally understood but were disappointed that I wouldn't be there (in a physical sense) for them anymore.

While telling this all to Xavier (you know him if you've read my previous thoughts), he pointed out that I have played a major role in their lives and their growing up. He pointed out that by spending so much time with them, I have - without a doubt - passed on some of my morals and values to them. By doing this, I have already "made a mark," by the young age of 23. As we walked through the rainy night, after getting off the bus, we talked more about what has gone on throughout the past four years and it's true. I have made a mark on three lives - for the better, which I'm proud of.

I guess somewhere in each of us is the desire to make a difference or to make a mark, no matter how small it may be. Whether it be giving a homeless person a quarter or donating a cheque to the new wing of a hospital - our mark is always recognized and noted. So, I consider my "mark" to be somewhere in the middle - having a good, stable effect on three young children's lives.

For instance, the oldest girl (8 years old) has had my personal phone number for the past year and a half. There are times when she has used it, but thanks to an understanding she does not abuse the privilege. It's just something, a little extra, that is there to give her the stability that she needs. My rules and limits are very straightforward and fair. These three kids have been able to live with that quite happily (especially this past year). Because of my fairness, honesty and reality with the kids, they have turned out to be good kids who treat me as someone they trust and care for. I honestly believe you get in return what you give out to others.

I could probably go on and on with examples, but the last thing I'll mention is that buy spending ten hours each day with the three broken halo-ed angels, some of me is bound to rug off onto each of them - so far, it has turned out to be a good thing.

I have no special ending for this thought, because it will only truly be the end next July (2000) when I move to the city leaving my old job and my three kids behind. I'm not saying I'll never see them again - of course I will. The kids have already had me promise to visit now and then, and send letters; that's pretty much in my nature anyway. I can't just break away and never look back; some people can, but not me. The fact that they are living in my hometown (meaning my parents are here). I can't just forget four years of my life - but at the same time it's time to move on.

So, June/July 2000 will soon come around and I'll move on to my next designated place in life. My past, however, will be marked with three shining young stars who will someday make marks of their own.